Everything You Need to Know About Premarital Counseling

couples therapypremarital counseling
Written By Lauryn Lucido, LMFT

What is premarital counseling?

Most people who have heard the term “premarital counseling” tend to associate it with therapy for only engaged couples, and oftentimes with a priest/pastor. However, premarital counseling is an option for any couples who are either engaged, considering marriage, or considering what it would look like to commit to their partner long-term. Premarital counseling can be for any couple who may want to work through some differences and ask the hard questions before committing to a marriage.

What topics are covered in premarital counseling?

Premarital counseling addresses the relational dynamic between partners while discussing topics such as sex, finances, goals, values, expectations, and family backgrounds. It includes addressing your views on marriage and commitment while working to improve your communication skills with your partner. The hope is that you will leave premarital counseling knowing more about yourself and your partner!

What if my partner and I aren’t sure if we want to be married?

Premarital counseling can help you to actually determine if you want to be married in the first place. After intentionally discussing the topics that you and your partner might be avoiding or having a hard time talking about, you can then make an informed decision about the direction of the relationship. 

How long does premarital counseling typically last?

Premarital counseling usually takes a couple of months, but can also turn into couples therapy depending on the situation. Some couples find they can address all of what they need to in a few months and are able to make a decision about the direction of the relationship at that point. Some couples start off in premarital counseling but then transition to couples therapy, especially if one or both partners have any trauma that affects their ability to commit. You can talk about this with your therapist along the way to make sure your needs are being met in the therapy process.

What can I do to prepare for premarital counseling?

There is nothing you need to do before coming to premarital counseling. You are welcome to take our attachment quiz or read a few blogs to create some insight into how you operate and how that might affect your relationship, but it is not necessary. If you want to move forward with premarital counseling or have any questions, you can sign up for a free 30-minute consultation with our therapist matchmaker to find the therapist who is the best fit for you. (California residents only). We provide online therapy and have therapists who are trained in EMDR therapy. We also offer many different types of trauma therapy groups. All of our therapists specialize in trauma-informed care, and informed trauma therapy. Wishing you and your partner the best in your relationship!

All therapists at Woven Together Trauma Therapy are trauma-informed and specialize in treating all forms of trauma. We also offer EMDR therapy, Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy, and Brainspotting therapy which all have shown to be extremely effective in treating and healing trauma. Want to read more about our unique therapy options?

These blogs talk more about the basics of EMDR therapy:

You can read more about Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy here:

If you would like to learn more about Brainspotting therapy, check out our blog: What is Brainspotting?

Blog
How to Maintain Your Relationship in the Midst of Parenting
How to Maintain Your Relationship in the Midst of Parenting

There are five stages in the family life cycle and the stage of parenting is considered the most stressful. This is the time in which divorce rates are at their highest, sex is at its lowest and couples feel the most disconnected. Here are some ideas to help maintain your relationship during this hectic time.

Psilocybin-Assisted Trauma Treatment, Part II
Psilocybin-Assisted Trauma Treatment, Part II

We might be only a year or two away from legalizing psilocybin, the active ingredient in psychedelic mushrooms, for therapeutic use in the United States. Let’s talk about what that might look like for future trauma treatment.

5 Common EMDR Myths We Hear at Woven
5 Common EMDR Myths We Hear at Woven

With the well-earned buzz around this evidence-based approach to healing trauma, there are also plenty of misunderstandings. Let’s take a look at some common myths so that you are prepared to advocate for yourself and make decisions about your mental healthcare. 

What is Microaggressive Trauma for Asian Americans?
What is Microaggressive Trauma for Asian Americans?

Microaggressive trauma describes the excessive and continuous exposure to subtle interpersonal and systemic discrimination that lead to trauma symptoms like sensitivity to threat, anxiety, and hyperarousal.

Reparenting Your Inner Child: Healing the Past, Embracing the Present
Reparenting Your Inner Child: Healing the Past, Embracing the Present

When I ask myself: “What do all human beings have in common?” I always come to the same conclusion: we all have a wounded child that lives within us. That child may have been wounded by different systems and in different ways, but in the end, even if our identities are filled with privilege, we all have been injured, in one way or another in our early relational dynamics and that is part of being human.

What Should You Do With Your “Situationship”?
What Should You Do With Your “Situationship”?

What is a situationship, you ask? A situationship “is often discussed as being similar to a friends-with-benefits relationship, which usually involves sexual activity without a commitment to be exclusive to each other. The definition further explains that “a situationship is often described as a relationship that is more than friendship but less than a committed relationship.” So what are we to do if we find ourselves in one of these? Below are some ideas!

Psilocybin-Assisted Trauma Treatment, Part I
Psilocybin-Assisted Trauma Treatment, Part I

We’re in our shrooms era. That’s right. I said it. Psilocybin is having a glow-up in the psychotherapeutic community, and we are excited about what that means for future trauma treatments.

What is Inclusive Therapy for Asian American and Pacific Islanders (AAPI)? 
What is Inclusive Therapy for Asian American and Pacific Islanders (AAPI)? 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard, “I felt like my White therapist just didn’t get it” or “I quit therapy when my therapist told me to just set boundaries with my immigrant parents.” Don’t get me wrong, I think any therapist of any race can be culturally inclusive with the right training, consideration, and sensitivity. For example, I trust the diverse team here at Woven to be thoughtful of issues of (de)colonization, Asian American frame switching, and being flexible with interventions to consider unique aspects of identity.

Somatic Awareness: Learning how to read your body’s story
Somatic Awareness: Learning how to read your body’s story

Throughout my practice as a somatic trauma therapist, I see patients whose painful experiences muted their connection to the body. For trauma survivors, focusing on their body sensations - even if only for a brief second - can become extremely overwhelming because it brings them back to their experiences of being neglected, abandoned, or abused.  Let’s explore the concept of somatic awareness and to help trauma survivors understand why this practice holds the key to understanding emotions, traumas, and overall well-being.   

Ask a Therapist: What does healing from trauma look like? With Megan Bakva, ASW
Ask a Therapist: What does healing from trauma look like? With Megan Bakva, ASW

You may be feeling vulnerable, hopeful, anxious, excited, uncertain, fearful, or any combination of emotions as you await your first session. Questions like what to expect during a 90-minute intake, what does a regular 45-minute session look/feel like, or how to plan/prepare for therapy in general may be on your mind (or search history). This is completely normal! Megan Bakva, ASW talks about her approach to trauma therapy.

What is Grooming?
What is Grooming?

Some may assume that grooming only happens to children or adolescents, but grooming happens to adults as well. Quite surprisingly, sexual abuse occurs by someone the victim knows 93% of the time. This might include a family member, friend, neighbor, teacher, coach, youth leader, supervisor, etc. Learn more about the common grooming tactics and impacts of grooming here.

What is Racial Trauma?
What is Racial Trauma?

How does racism show up in our body, thoughts, and emotions? People who are familiar with racism may know that it is acknowledged as a public health crisis by the American Public Health Association. But how do daily experiences of racism, discrimination, and microaggressions affect us psychologically and in our trauma symptoms? How does it show up in our bodies, thoughts, and emotions? Let’s dive in.

Dissociation 101
Dissociation 101

Have you ever found yourself scrolling on your phone for hours and then not being able to remember what you watched? Or maybe you feel overwhelmed all the time. Or numb. Does this sound familiar? Let’s talk about the freeze response and dissociation 101.

The Bittersweet Flavors of the Holiday Season                  
The Bittersweet Flavors of the Holiday Season                  

If this time of the year brings up anxiety, depression, hopelessness, or loneliness for you, your body can be at the center of it. For many people, the memories that arise are filled with joy and happiness, for others  - survivors of childhood trauma - the body remembers this season with complex emotions.

How to Survive the Holidays with your Partner
How to Survive the Holidays with your Partner

There are a lot of things happening during the holiday season. Because the holidays are usually very nostalgic for people, it’s almost like our brains are primed to remember all our childhood trauma. So how can we survive the holidays with our romantic relationship intact? JHere are some ideas that might help.

Creating Peace and Joy with your Inner Child this Holiday Season
Creating Peace and Joy with your Inner Child this Holiday Season

Calendar filling up with events? Booking those tickets back to your hometown? A familiar sense of anxiety creeping in? You’re not alone. As the lights and holiday spirit go up around town, many of us are faced with less-than-festive feelings. 

Lauryn Lucido, LMFT
Previous

Four Things That May Surprise You About Religious Trauma
Next

Fall Fictional Reading List for 2021